Creekside Church Sermon of September 12, 2004 "How to be a Calculating Christian" Luke 16:1-13	Rev. David Bibbee
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Florida has been blasted by hurricanes Charley and Frances, and now Ivan is coming. Being ravaged by one hurricane is terrible enough. It's hard to comprehend three! But while we are safe here in Northern Indiana, we have also been hit by a series of hurricanes. Two weeks ago we heard Jesus bad-mouth the host and guests at a dinner party to which he was invited. Last Sunday while many of you were at Camp Mack enjoying Family Camp, we heard Jesus assail family values. He said anyone who follows him must server all ties with his or her parents, siblings, spouse, and children.

Today, hurricane Jesus will make landfall in a "category five" parable that is the most puzzling, problematic parable Jesus ever told. Imagine listening to a conversation between a Mom, Dad, and their children on their way home from church. Eagar to know what the kids had learned, mom asks, "How was Sunday school today?" "It was great! We learned that we don't have to be good all the time," "What?" mother says in a concerned tone. " The teacher told us about a guy who was lazy, and cheated, and told lies." And the other child chimes in-- "Yea, and his boss told him he did a great job." "You're pulling my leg, aren't you?" Mom asks. "Your teacher really didn't tell you a story like that, did she?" "Well… not exactly." "Jesus did."

A rich man called in one of his managers and accused him of wasting company funds. The Greek word for waste that is used here is the same one used to describe the behavior of the prodigal son who "wasted" his father's money in "riotous living." He wasn't losing money on legitimate business ventures, or funding his almamater, or helping a deserving charity. It was recorded on the ledger as, "personal expenses," among them, a vacation to Barbados, a country club membership, and a condo in Palm Springs.

Sitting at his big mahogany desk, he did a Donald Trump to the little weasel -"You're fired!"

"Now what will I do?" he wondered. He hadn't done an honest day's work in his life. He didn't like breaking a sweat. He was too proud to beg. There is an old saying that goes, "Figures lie and liars figure." Well, Mr. Sleaze began figuring. "Cooking the books" is another way to say it. He called in the people who were in debt to the boss. "What do you owe?" "A hundred grand." "Tell you what, my friend. Right here on this line 18 -- put down, 'fifty grand'."

We know all about this guy. He's the general at the Pentagon who looks the other way when a defense contractor charges the government $500 a pop for socket wrenches, and after retirement, just happens to land a lucrative position with that same contactor. He's the mayor who receives money from the state to fix crumbling city streets and the first thing paved is his driveway. The corporate world it's called being shrewd, calculating, protecting the bottom line, possessing business savvy. Most people call it dishonest.

We think we know what will happen. The boss will see right through the audit. In a world where there are distinctions between right and wrong, the manager will get what's coming. This is one reason you are here. You come to learn right from wrong according to Jesus. When this despicable character comes in the second time, we know what should happen. But when the boss sees what the guy did, he slaps him on the back and says, "Well done! When the chips are down, you really know how to take care of yourself." And Jesus said, "The worldly have more on the ball than the children of God. They're always looking for a way to gain the upper hand, and when they find it, they go for it."

On Sunday we bring our kids up front and tell them Bible stories which we hope will teach them to be good and respectful and responsible and honest and always do their best. If this is what we want them to learn, should we lift up this man as a role model?

With which man in the parable do you identify with most? I hope it's not the boss. He's rich, and you know what Jesus said about rich people and their chances of getting into the Kingdom of heaven. It's definitely not the boss. We're not rich… not like him. So that leaves you with the crooked manager, and I know you don't want anything to do with him, either. You are holy people who stick close to the narrow way. You're not like him, are you?

When I was in college, Millard Fuller came to speak. I had never heard of him. He told how he became a millionaire at a very young age. In college, he and a buddy concocted schemes to make fast money. There was a little scrub tree that grew everywhere. Millard got the idea of turning them into Christmas trees. They spray-painted the leafless trees white, stuck some cheap ornaments on them, and they sold like wildfire. While other students graduated with loans to pay back, Millard and his buddy had thousands of dollars.

Millard went on to be a hugely successful layer. He and his wife lived in the lap of luxury, but his insatiable hunger for money was tearing their family apart. It things didn't change drastically, his wife threatened to take the kids and leave. Scared of losing his family, he left his practice, and went to visit a friend who belonged to an inter-racial Christian community in Georgia called, "Koinonia." It was started by a Greek scholar and farmer named Clarence Jordan. You might recall that Jordon wrote the Cotton Patch Version of the Bible.

Millard was introduced to Jordon. After the meeting Millard and his family decided to stay a while in the community. During their stay he had a dream about building housing for poor people all over the world at very little cost to them. They were the people who had outstanding debts with the boss in the parable. Fuller called it, Habitat for Humanity. Perhaps you have heard of it.

Millard Fuller didn't want to be left out in the cold with his cold, hard cash. His mind worked overtime to save his own skin, and as a result, Habitat homes dot the surface of the planet.

Whether we admit it or not, we are the dishonest steward. We want to give the impression that we are holy folks who do all we can to live exemplary Christian lives. But none of us will be saints anytime soon.

God appointed us managers of his world. God entrusted it to us to till and tend, but we have "wasted it" so we can buy cheap gas and drive Hummers and Beemers. Obesity is an epidemic in our county while starvation is the norm for millions. We daydream about how good it would be to have more money, a bigger house, a bigger pension, and to ski in Aspen or sail the Mediterranean. When it comes to wealth, our first consideration is, "How much do we keep for ourselves?" We have been promised the Spirit's power to lead people from the dark to the light, include people the world has left behind, stand up for those who are denied justice, and speak the truth to the powers behind the entertainment industry and in the halls of government that they are taking the world the wrong direction.

We wrestle with selfishness, anger, and jealousy. We hunger for revenge, and we hide our innermost thoughts-the things we fantasize doing if we only could get away with it. We know who we are in this cock-eyed parable. The boss calls us on the carpet for wasting his goods and opportunities for good. He wants an audit. What will we do?

Maybe we should take a page or two from the manager. He studied his options. He worked angles. He devised a plan and executed it, and won the admiration of the boss. God demands an audit, so what will we do? Turn over another new leaf? Eat less? Exercise more? Try to be a better person? Keep the spirit of Christmas in our hearts all the days of the year? Stop being judgmental? You can try.

This parable is a hurricane. It's descriptive. But it is also prescriptive. God has the right to let us have it. We can't cook the book he keeps of our lives. God knows all about our wastefulness and laziness. We shouldn't have any illusions about making new creations of ourselves. But we can intend to be better people. We can make amends with those we have wronged. We can linger longer over the question of whether or not something is right.

No boss would act like the one in the parable Jesus described. But lots of people thought that no father whose son wasted his inheritance on booze and blondes would wait as long as necessary for the son to return, and then shower him with kisses and jewelry and a welcome home party. Jesus told us about a father who did, and will do it again, no matter how feeble, or contrived his children's attempt to do better might be. Some of the great heroes of the Bible were scoundrels. The examples we lift up spent time in jail and broke the law. One died as a criminal on the cross.

Take another look at the boss. He admired the manager's calculating efforts to look after himself. Jesus said the children of light should be calculating in the pursuit of what is right. God sees our feeble attempts at betterment for what they are. But James Howell asks us to consider this-"Maybe God sees our lame attempts in the way we view the coloring of a three-year-old. No bad pictures here. You hope for progress. You practice to improve."

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